Thursday, November 22, 2012

Who the hell do 'They' think they are?

Absolutely nothing is set in stone. Labeling something a ‘Fact’ is a term that’s thrown around a lot now-a-days. We spend the majority of our life studying facts and ensuring that we live each day following the factual direction that we've been predisposition to have unwavering faith in; no questions asked.  We are guided by facts and the way things are- versus the way things could be. We obsess over ‘reality’ and basically close all opportunity for endless possibilities while our life becomes predetermined by They. We’ve never met this They character that we speak of so amicably of. We trust They’s opinions to a fault; allowing They to determine our education, information, direction, actions and beliefs; essentially… our lives really are in They’s hands. We make decisions based on They and we see and judge others the way They does.

Oh come on, you know exactly who I’m talking about!…They

“Well, THEY say that it’s a fact that babies should sleep on their back. THEY say Pluto is no longer a planet. THEY say, THEY think, THEY,THEY, THEY……”

We talk about They as if who it is we’re referencing is actually an individual we know personally.

Who is They anyways?…. do we know? Do we know where we’re getting our information?

And why do we all feel so easily inclined to believe, act, react, speak about and do what They think we should.

Our facts are always changing.

30+ years ago, tummy to sleep for babies was a fact
20+ years ago side to sleep was a fact
10+ years ago back to sleep was the fact

Actually, 10 years ago it was highly frowned upon to have baby sleep in Mommy and Daddy’s bed; They said that not only was it was dangerous, but it set up the child to have dependency challenges. However, it seems that these days attachment parenting is in full force and a family bed is actually quite common.  Here’s my question though… in another 20 years from now will back to sleep still be a fact? (Is it even still considered a fact? I have no idea, my kids aren’t babies anymore)

Here was the only sleep fact that stressed me out to the max when my kids were babies:
“This child isn’t asleep and neither am I –That is a  fact!”

The word fact is actually quite contradictory considering most conclusions can never really be concluded.
Over time, research findings pool together and the facts aren’t as factual as they once seemed. They’re mere discoveries that were once upon a time based on a group of individual’s perceptions and observations; individuals whose diploma states that they’ve accurately studied...yup… you’ve got it…more facts. We trust the diplomas of the world because They say we should.

In elementary school our class spent quite a few weeks focused on studying the planets. While I was in school, Pluto was in fact a planet. These days, my son is learning that Pluto was thought to be a planet, but it has now been determined that Pluto is (in fact) belonging to a category all its own…
When something goes into a category all its own, to me that translates to “we are too educated (on limited information) to be able to comfortably tell you that the only fact that can be effectively presented at this moment is that we are stumped”

“In 2003 an astronomer found an object beyond Pluto. The astronomer thought he had found a new planet. The object he found was larger than Pluto, which caused the astronomers to talk about what makes a planet a planet. This group decided that Pluto was not a planet based on its size and location ~NASA”

Years from now what makes a planet a planet may in all probability change, thus creating new facts based on new findings, and incidentally abolishing the old facts that we’ve all dedicated our life to learning. The universe is immense and we still know nothing of it. Generations to come, a history class may speak of Pluto the way we speak of the day earth was discovered to be round.

It’s not to say that somewhere down the line a possibility cannot eventually prove true….it’s just to say that we’ve grown so rigid in our thoughts that we no longer allow ourselves to think beyond what we are taught to believe. We have been programmed to not question science…. And, we’ve been taught to deny those who do question.

We are a global platform of know-it-alls who are resistant to believing that we still really know nothing and we take it up a notch, bringing into our interactions. We adhere so firmly to what we believe that we become rigid and inflexible. We know better than They do, because we are guided by our own They.

Who is your They?

They is the reason that there is racism and prejudices in the world; the reason why some humans feel that they are worthy of the right to condemn and judge other human beings.

And in that case, I would love to ask you…who the hell, do you think you are?
I could bet that your defense would be backed up by They. Isn’t it?

I’m resurrecting and embracing something I innately believed as a small child before They started getting to me; that the greatest place to be in life is in a constant state of questioning and curiosity. It would appear to be that place in one’s mind where greater perceptions are discovered holding the potential to alter our own personal environment for the better. Personal growth may possibly speed up to immeasurable rates if everyone used their ‘what if’ thought processes and implemented their own findings to their own life without concern for what They will think or say.

Therein lies my challenges. I am haunted by my own They. That damn They character pulls me around by my nostrils and then inhabits every nook and cranny of my existence like a virus spreading through my self-worth.

We’ve settled for what They say and They think.
What happened to I say and I think?
Do we do that anymore?
And if we do, what is it based on?
Moreso, if we do, are we comfortable doing so?
When was the last time we thought for ourselves?
When was the last time we made a decision without having to ask for another person’s (or 20 other people’s) opinion first? 
When was the last time you met a person who allowed themselves to be driven and inspired by possibilities as opposed to restricted and restrained by They’s facts?
When was the last time you met a person who wasn’t dependent on They?
Have we been programmed to ignore our own guidance system?
Are we subconsciously asking They for permission to have our own ideas?
Or are we asking someone else to think and feel for us?
Are there really any original ideas or lives anymore?

We don’t think; we memorize.
We don’t say; we repeat.

And most of us are silently miserable but swearing that we don’t care what They think
(Oh come on, in all honesty, there are very few who will believe that crock of garbage and that includes  the one who is stating that they don’t care what others think- even if that person is denying it)

Everybody cares what their own They thinks.

We are all scientists, discoverers and philosophers, but we don’t believe it. We don’t believe it because we’ve been taught to believe that before you can call yourself anything, you have to earn it; live it, breathe it, think it, feel it.

Our life is our lab, our study, our classroom, our library, our teacher and our map.
Our actions, our words and our thoughts should be put under the microscope every day.
Not by someone else, as that would be giving away our own personal power and capabilities to figure ourselves out. You don’t really want to leave your destiny, your conclusions, and your realities to someone else’s perceptions, do you?  
I sure as hell don’t.

So then, why do I?

Why let your life and your beliefs of who you are as a person be determined by someone else’s standards, or worse, other people’s perceptions of who they think you are?

Unfortunately, we’ve been taught to spend our time here putting everyone else’s actions, words and thoughts under a microscope more so than our own. We observe in order to replicate or resist. We have come to a point in this life where we allow someone else’s actions, words and thoughts to actually mean something about us, and often times it holds a negative connotation; we personalize everything and that is just a recipe for misery and self-esteem disaster if we don’t understand who we are as our own person.

Perhaps we really are just all in a constant state of analysis, but we’re analyzing the wrong material. The state of analysis would only prove to be beneficial to one’s own existence so long as the analysis takes place without concern for what They think....therefore, what you believe.

Hummmm...oh, the irony of it all....

Detectives and Investigators would consider findings inconclusive if outside circumstances have tainted their evidence; their evidence would be deemed unprocessable. We would make the world’s crappiest investigators; there are so many of us who base all our decisions and beliefs on everything that has tainted our natural evidentiary processing system (our gut, our instincts, our intuition…call it whatever you will, but we are a society largely suffering from Lazy Gut Instinct- our gut has been tainted....we mistake our gut for our education)  Above and beyond that, as detectives, we would be too busy focusing on what the other detectives were doing wrong and we’d in all probability end monopolizing and trying to solve another detective’s case instead of solving the one initially assigned to us.     

How you perceive and process your experiences can ultimately change your outcome. Absolutely everything exists through perception, and once one entangles outside perceptions with their own, confusion and inconsistencies are often the barrier between what is, what was, and what could be.

Depending on your very own lenses, for today, you are who you are and your day is what it is. Tomorrow you may see yourself  in a new light, and your day incredibly different even though the routine mirrors yesterday’s quite accurately. Its reality is dependent on your own perceptions.

 How you view another person is never real. Real to you…yes, as that’s what you’ve accepted.
The possibility of you being right is great; the possibility of you being wrong is even greater.
Unless you are incredibly in tuned with yourself and have the sound ability to make up your mind about a person without personalizing any of it based on your belief system; Without that, you will be very wrong in your judgments.  When it comes to our perceptions on other people, we seldom allow ourselves to be in that constant state of questioning or understanding. We believe what we want to believe based on what we’ve experienced in our own lives and what we’ve been taught to believe. We create our reality and it could very well have been created based on our own denial.

Denial can be defined as the product of settling on an idea. It’s an anchor that we throw overboard in our minds once we’ve decided to accept a perception as our reality. The point to denial, much like anchoring a boat, is to keep you from going somewhere you don’t want to go. One way or another, you just don’t get anywhere anchored. I’m thinking that those who see that possibilities remain inconclusive are well balanced and flexible people. These are the people who’ve left their anchor on shore. They may at times end up where they didn’t intend to be, but they know that as long as they haven’t sunk, they can still sail.

We as beings need our environments, our entourage, our relationships to be relatable, identifiable and have a place in our lives. We as beings need to be relatable, identifiable, and need to have a place in other’s lives. We need to fit in somewhere. To an extent we need a They. However, we often prioritize They ahead of ourselves which results in seeking our opinions, views, beliefs and essentially, our personal worth from They. That would mean that we depend on They to make us happy and content….to defend an back us up; They is our voiceWe depend on They to feel as though we rightfully exist here. We often compromise our own integrity and needs trying to find similarities, titles, explanations and reasons by taking on other people’s perceptions as our own despite the fact that it never rings true to who we are; we know it, but we ignore it, often forgetting it or disassociating from it completely.  This is the ultimate cause of inner conflict. The simple equation is that inner conflict causes our outer conflict; our outcomes.

Our outcomes become our existence until new outcomes present themselves, and if our results- our outcomes and experiences are directed by our perceptions, then wouldn't it be a good idea to understand who and what has sculpted your perceptions? If you haven’t been over the moon with your life as it seems to be unfolding, an Rx for a reassessment of your perceptions may be in order.

Change your words, change your world...

Change your perception, change your life...

Jen xo

1 comment:

  1. Flips a byrd at "they" ... I am MY NEW THEY. Love this!!!

    "We don’t think; we memorize.
    We don’t say; we repeat."

    Too true and TOO sad!!! I CHOOSE to empower myself, own the choices AND the repercussions, wtg!! <3