Saturday, June 15, 2013

Sweet Dreams

I’m a dreamer; a sensitive, wildly creative & vivid dreamer. A woman who is at best, a passionate visionary with a meaty and purposeful journey...and at worst...somewhat comparable to an attention-deficit chihuahua .  My capacity to visualize the most beautiful scenarios in my mind’s eye is incredible. My ability to emotionally connect to what I can imagine is even more astounding. It's an asset when engaging in visualization techniques (sounds nice, doesn't it?) but utterly sucks during meditation (It ain't easy to live with everyday

I’ve spent some time this past year trying to find that delicate balance between embracing its benefits and seeking methods to avoid its potential setbacks; setbacks such as procrastination, distraction, extremism and discouragement.    

Us dreamy-creative types love the look and feel of the monumental big picture. But if we haven't welcomed discipline into our life,  it doesn't take much to get derailed. Often overlooking the baby steps and small goals which would help actualize  bigger steps and bigger goals…we easily get romanced and swept away by the extravagance of pure possibility! ...

It’s comparable to getting a hankering for ice-cream- but instead of having a cone, you feel compelled to experience every flavor. So you plan on eating one serving from each of the shop's 56 flavors... in one sitting...(well that's what you'll do right after you figure out how to borrow an appetite or ten)

We want to draw out and design our entire map…experience everything... right now.

All aspects of life can be affected by this potential disaster, so let me just pull from one small aspect and use it as an example.


If someone like me decides they need to start getting healthier, they don't just start with a small step in the right direction. In fact, we don’t do small. We’ll accomplish absolutely nothing at all with much ease... but small?…Never.

Here’s what starts the ball rolling. We can already see ourselves as that healthy person. How she feels, what she looks like. We then create a scenario. We envision ourselves crossing the finish line of our first race; it’s all there. What we’re wearing, how we’re feeling, what the terrain and environment look like, what song is playing in the background, how the air smells, who’s there with us, what we’re thinking AND we can see the numbers changing on the finish line clock in real time, Yo! In fact, we’re so capable of dreaming this up, that we can, and usually do experience very real feelings over this figment of our imagination. We know just how to breathe it, feel it, and taste it. It comes naturally.

We start chasing the vision. (Now remember, getting healthier was the goal

Do we plan to first start drinking more water or take walks in the evening as a form of cardio?
at that pace, we’ll be healthier in say, ohhhhhh, 35 years.
It’s all or nothing for us, baby!
Our entire world has to go from round to square!

We will however, spend three weeks planning for this new healthy lifestyle: we locate a gym, scope out prices for a membership, find contact information and references for the perfect personal trainer; we screen-shop at for a wardrobe of appropriate gym attire. Let’s not forget that we’re going to be changing all our eating habits as well. We research nutrition plans, vitamins, supplements, cleanses.
After downing our 14th cup of coffee of the day, we decide to replace the entire contents of our fridge and pantry with only  heart healthy foods.
While we’re at it, the entire household might as well go completely green.
We write out a 4 page grocery list…
(Pause here: we’ve just realized we’re intrigued by Holistic Nutrition. We get side tracked and look up enrollment information for a nutrition program)
Woah Nelly...
We reel our focus back in. 
Don't get it wrong, we’re motivated.
We are going to be So. Freaking. HEALTHY!
But we want to stay motivated.
So we get on youtube.
We watch an hour of motivational videos and stumble upon this one:

We’re so moved by the strength of the human spirit…
so in love with the power of love...
so in awe of the human body…
aaaannnnd there we go, we’re bawling.

After we stop crying…
we're inspired...
we decide an Iron man triathlon is the way to go.
Set date- mark it off in the agenda for 6 months from today because, well…
we are not doing this half way…oh-Hell-to-the-No!

hey! maybe we’ll even become fit enough to be a fitness competitor!


And so… this is how it all happens…

We stay up until the wee hours of the night for weeks on end researching Iron man and fitness competitions; we’ll need a good quality racing bike and one of those horrendous sparkly bodybuilder bikinis. As we check air fare and nearby hotels for the events to come, we wonder if there’s a way to tan for the fitness competition without going orange…We Google that as well.

After we've gathered all necessary resources and our office looks like a paper mill exploded…
our little voice of reason that was all “rah-rah-sis-boom-bah” 2 days ago, isn’t a voice anymore. In fact…that voice is now a set of eyes… and they’re rolling in their sockets… at us more specifically.  

We brush it off and move forward…

We set up a budgetary spread sheet for this new lifestyle.

Never-you-mind that I still can’t laugh my ass off without becoming winded” you say to yourself.  

But then we think about it for a minute- realizing that it’s been 2 months since we decided to get healthy, but because we've only 'planned' thus far, we still can’t even haul the clean laundry upstairs to the bedrooms without needing a nap afterwards.

We look at the goal(s) we set for ourselves…
We look at all the details…
Who in the fresh hell can do all of this?...
We look at the budget…
…and afford it!
So we start problem solving.
After all, nothing is going to stand in the way of our achievement.  
We begin planning a whole new money making, time freeing career.

(Lather. Rince. Repeat for planning the Career aspect of life as well)

It’s downhill from here, folks.

A day or two later, you catch yourself out of breath after a minimal exertion activity… like say...
brushing your teeth. 
You're faced with just how out of shape you are.
You think of the Iron man.
It’s official...
You’re discouraged.
Not even your Chariots of Fire ringtone can bring you back from this one. 

And there you have it Ladies and Gentleman, we haven’t even gotten off our ass yet and we are overwhelmed. 

We are so stealth at redirecting ourselves from our initial goals that we often don't notice until our horse trips over the cart. We get so lost and turned around in all those beautiful details and before you know it, just the idea of taking a walk EVERY. FREAKING. NIGHT feels like we've asked ourselves to climb Mount Everest.

You know why?

Because we probably have.

See! there it is in bold black letters- its marked off in the agenda- scheduled for 10 months after the projected Iron Man Triathlon: “Climb Mount Everest”

And all we really wanted was to become a little healthier.

But you know what really happened?
We weren't really planning anything...
What started as a small goal and intention, ended up being bulldozed by the immediate gratification that comes from an imaginative experience.  
The entire thing was a distraction.
How you imagine it is far more exciting than the slow boat you have to take to get to your goals. 
This is exactly how to live a life in your head while completely missing the life that you can have on your feet. 

And so my fellow creative-dreamer-distracted types, the moral of the story is... SQUIRREL!!!.... 

just kidding

I’m going for a damn walk.  

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